Writely So 365

30/04/2009

Profile Picture Don’ts

Filed under: General,Rants — writely so 365 @ 9:51 AM
Tags: , ,

Are you wondering why you’re not getting a response to your online dating profile?  Or why you maybe attracting the wrong type of people?  Here’s a list of helpful tips of what not to do when posting profile pictures for online dating or social networking sites.

  1. Don’t wear sunglasses in all of your photos.  You may think it makes you look cool but in actuality it makes you look as if you have something to hide.  Like maybe crossed eyes or a wayward eye?  I’m just saying.
  2. Don’t flip off or give the finger that’s not attractive.  In fact not only does it show your low level of intelligence is but it’s also a major turn off and will get you ignored.
  3. Don’t pose with a group of people.  We really don’t want to have to guess who the hell you are in a group photo.  There are too many mobile phones with cameras so there’s no excuse not to take a quick snapshot of yourself and post it.  Stop being lazy.  Oh and don’t be surprised if you get an email asking about the hot looking male or female next to you in the group photo.  Serves you right.
  4. Don’t pose with a young child.  I find more males do this than females.  That child may be your pride and joy but seriously, it’s a turn off and in some case not only will it get you reported to the site administrator but to local authorities as well.  It may even attract the wrong type of person.  Think about it Einstein.
  5. Don’t mean mug (not smile) we like to see a smile.  Again, what are you trying to hide?  Not only does a smile bring light and personality to your face but I’d like to make sure that you have all of your teeth if not some.
  6. Body shots with no face or vice versa.  These type of pictures can be so misleading I mean if all you see are pictures of a great body and no face is attached to it (or vice versa) that should raise a red flag.  Something is  not right.  You might have the body of Adonis and a face like a pug.  Now I know that looks aren’t everything but you shouldn’t be misleading either.  That’s false advertisement.
  7. Partial face pictures (side profile, from the nose up or the nose down) are so not the business.  We want to see the entire face so stop acting like you’re posing for America’s Next Top Model.  The judges would send you home with a quickness because you’re giving the same tired expression each and every time.
  8. Flashing money.  Seriously this is not a damn Diddy video.  If you’re trying to prove that you have a job or money you really don’t have to flash it to prove it.  If anything you’re going to attract a grifter that will take you for everything you have before moving on.
  9. Don’t post pictures of cartoons or celebrties (i.e. T.I., Piles, Ciara, etc.) that means you’re not as attractive as you say you are in your profile.  Besides celebrties don’t need to be on the site like you especially when they can get what you’re looking for, for free.
  10. Don’t pose in a dirty bathroom.  I get that sometimes the best lighting is in the bathroom but come on, if your bathroom is dirty (i.e. unflushed toilet with the top up, messy countertop/sink, dirty shower.  You get the picture) then you need to clean that mess up.  Nobody and I mean nobody wants to see that crap.  It’s disgusting.
  11. It’s so not a good idea to wear your work badge/ID or uniform.  This could land you a fatal attraction or two and/or get your dumbass fired.
  12. Shiny lips on guys does not convey a good message, to the ladies anyway.  So when you see that your inbox is full of messages don’t get mad when you find out the senders are all male. 🙂
  13. Pictures of your car or a car.  Really?  I mean it’s good that you have a means of transportation but if you have a picture of your car as your main profile picture that means you really don’t have much else going on in your life.  That you’re inviting the potential people that you’re bound to piss off to either key it or bust out the windows.  Or that car fanatic that’s been looking for those 22 you have to come and take them.
  14. Taking pictures of other pictures.  I don’t even know what to say about this.  Oh, wait yes I do.  Stop it!  Refer to number 3.
  15. Using photos that are five years or older.  If you know that your happy ass no longer looks like you did five, ten years ago then that don’t post it.  If you’re serious about meeting people face to face then post a current photo of yourself.  Do you really want to suffer the embarrassment of getting cursed out or someone walking away from you after introductions have been made?  Think people.

If I’ve missed any please feel free to add them to the comment section below.

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